Southerner’s bizarre Facebook post about the move to Greater Manchester… and the responses from locals are brilliant
A southerner posted on Facebook about his move to a town in Wigan – and the responses were hilarious.
The man, named Jay, asked community group Tyldesley Live to tell him what the crime rate was there, before he moved from the south of England.
“Ok so as a southerner soon to be living in Tyldesley, on a scale of 1 being the Cotswolds and 10 being East Croydon, what is the crime rate,” he wrote.
READ MORE:Tragic teen’s best friend found dead in canal gets incredible gift
“And do I need a prod for would-be aggressors?”
He was greeted with answers about how beautiful the countryside is and how amazing the people are.
But most of the amusing responses came from long-time locals poking fun at their town.
Many sarcastic references have been made to Mort Lane, which is well known to residents as a flooding nightmare.
Some locals even tagged their friends in the post, which received more than 100 comments, highlighting the accuracy of the replies.
A Facebook user, called Jason, wrote: “It’s not as bad as down south but Bojo (sic) is trying to level up.
“The water sports center on Mort Lane is well worth a visit.
“Guided tours of an Indian/Chinese buffet which has been opening its doors for two years soon.
“If you have teeth, don’t go to Leigh’s, you won’t fit in.
“We are world leaders in the pizza/kebab/haircut scene…you never get bored with these crazy cats.
“No need to buy cannabis, just a walk down the Busway to breathe will suffice.”
Another resident, named Simon, said there was no need to worry about the crime rate in Tyldesley – especially compared to London.
Get the latest updates from across Greater Manchester straight to your inbox with the free MEN newsletter
You can register very simply by following the instructions here
“As a former Cotswolds resident I would say Tyldesley is a two,” he wrote.
“Things happen, but that’s far from a situation in East Croydon. No cattle prod needed, but a torch and pitchfork isn’t a bad idea.”
Another user named Daniel said, “If you like fireworks, don’t tell anyone… you’ll be chased out of town by an angry mob.”
Other residents also warned the southerner about the infamous Mort Lane – which they advised him to stay away from.
“Watch out for Mort Lane, forget your cattle prods…bring your ark,” one man joked.
Another local said: ‘I think you have to worry about Mort Lane being open more than the crime rate.
A local named Michael joked about the number of barbers in the town, writing: ‘I hope you don’t have long hair as we currently have a shortage of barbers.’
Another named Mike said: “There’s another lovely little village up the road, Little Hulton, you might want to try, it’s beautiful.”
Overall, most people had nothing negative to say about the town, and many commented on the incredible community spirit.
“I lived here for 50 years, 32 down the street where I am now,” wrote a woman named Debbie.
“I’ve never had any issues and the community is amazing to be there and support each other.
“If however you intend to bring a cattle prod, stay where you are.”